Part 22: Kartikeya
I was walking in the store with my mom getting groceries. When we got to the cash register, a group of girls in orange scout uniforms was standing behind a table with a bright banner captioned “Happy Girls Scouts’ Passion Patties”. A big stack of Passion Patties boxes were behind them. Despite their presence, no one took notice.
A few months earlier, Passion Patties were banned by the FDA for dangerously potential addictive content because they contained a highly concentrated sugar extract. Unfortunately, the cookies were the only source of revenue for Happy Girl Scouts to pay their funds. It seemed like the organization was very desperate of their situation, and painfully begged the FDA to put them back on the market. Before all that, everyone went BESERK over the cookies. People purchased a busload to the point of… well, you know what happen. Now, people were aware of its true colors and avoided them.
One day, I was at a park, sitting by a tree. A man was standing next to me. He had yellow skin and wavy black shoulder-length hair. He was handsome and had a strong body decorated with gold jewelry, colorful sashes, and a white garland with pink lotuses. Kartikeya, the Hindu god of war and victory, and a son of Shiva. As I got bored, I grabbed a magnifying glass and observed the microscopic world in the grass. Kartikeya turned his attention to a little stand of orange boxes while a few girls were running it. Curious, the war god walked over to the stand. The Happy scouts grinned at their very first customer.
One girl chimed, “Excuse me, sir! Would you like to buy a box of Passion Patties? Here, have a sample! They’re really good!” She got out a brown-colored chocolate cookie with green mint chips packed in. Kartikeya smiled and took a bite of the cookie. The cookie was a heaven of sweetness, sugary flavor bursting a huge party of his taste buds. He stood in a slight trance, seeing sweets and desserts. Kartikeya dropped out of his little trance and leaned to the girls. He said, “ALL OF THEM!!! Give me EVERY BOX you have!!” The girls were happy and gladly gave the man all of their cookies. He held all the boxes with his strong hands, barely containing his excitement. Unexpectedly, he gave them gold coins. After that, he disappeared on the spot. As for me, I was standing at my spot with a “WTF” gaze.
I approached the girls. I said, “Hey, how much are the cookies?” “$2.00 a box.”
“Um, how many boxes did you have?” “31 boxes.” I cursed at the fact of losing $60 out of 100! Oh, those Passion Patties!
So I said, “You can keep the gold coins. You can probably exchange them for a lot of money!”
Kartikeya found himself in a temple. He was sitting on cushions, eating his second box! The war god became instantly infatuated with the treats. He didn’t bothered to savor each one, they were just too good! Instead, he stuffed 3 cookies in his mouth each time. There was no doubt that the addiction from the dreaded cookies took hold of him. As he ate, his stomach groaned tremendously as it was being stuffed with more and more cookies. And it was also groaning because a new layer of fat was being made. Later, Kartikeya completed his feast of Passion Patties. He felt great sadness when he grabbed the last cookie and ate it slowly. His gut was large now, and when he tried to stand, he felt incredibly heavy. The war god gawked at the sight of empty boxes, realizing his binge. Goodness, he thought. I got carried away!
Next morning, I was back at the park, feeding the birds. I heard footsteps on the grass. I turned to look and my expression went into shock mode. I saw the man I met yesterday looking like a plump pig. He wasn’t horribly fat… yet.
Kartikeya said, “Tamar, have you seen those children?”
“The Happy Girl Scouts? No, they haven’t been around today. However, they were very grateful that you purchased ALL of their cookies!”
“Well, I do not want to say this, but… can you go and buy more?”
“I don’t have the type of money to be spending that much.” Out of nowhere, the war god instructed me to hold out a piece of currency – a $20 dollar bill. With a bit of magic, a stack of 120 $20 bills were in my hand. I smiled. Kartikeya put his hand on my shoulder, “I will be waiting for you, dear.”
I went to a nearby store with a big red wagon from home. In the front of the store, more Passion Patties were displayed. I went up to the Happy Girls and said, “I like to purchase ALL of your Passion Patties, please!” The scouts gladly loaded the wagon.
I’d returned to the park with the goods. Kartikeya was overjoyed, and thanked me. I sat the wagon by Kartikeya, and he quickly tackled the cookies. Hopefully, this supply would last for a few days, if not a week.
It had been a few weeks since I saw Kartikeya. But he returned to me, and I was even more shocked at his fat physique! He was much fatter than before! He had a flabby, round belly, thick legs, and thick powerful arms. Like a sumo wrestler.
He was a little distraught because his Passion- Pattie-craved stomach was driving him ragged! (And he was also upset that he couldn’t find anymore.) That’s what an addiction can do to you. I felt bad. I had 2 choices: I could help him purge away from the addiction OR just let him more cookies. I’m afraid I had to go with the latter. I would have picked the first choice, but the war god asked me on the location of more cookies. So I answered his question. The main headquarters of Happy Girl Scouts. It was located in Missouri. I gave Kartikeya an empty box, and instructed him to use clairvoyance it to track down the place where it originated.
After a few hours, Kartikeya found himself in a town. He knew that he wasn’t far from the Happy Girl Scouts main camp. When he got there, the place was a huge camping ground of cabins and a main hall. To the left of the camp, a very large warehouse stood. He sneaked through the place, and approached the warehouse. He got near the heavy doors. As they opened, a cold chill ran through his body. At first glance, the warehouse seemed dingy, but it was remarkably tidy. The doors closed behind him.
Kartikeya walked and grin stretched across his face as the entire place was filled with Passion Patties! He went for a comfy spot in the corner, and grabbed a large box of Passion Patties. He ripped the box up like a wild animal, and stuffed handfuls of the heavenly cookies in his hungry mouth. His stomach was quite happy with presence of more cookies. The latter became slowly bloated. Kartikeya’s sashes began taking punishment from the growing waist and gut as the silk thread ripped. He ignored them, his attention solely on the chocolate mint cookies. They were so chocolaty, so minty. Kartikeya finally found something he truly loved besides thrill-seeking battles. For that, he had a huge binge of the divine cookies, all day and night.
Passion Patties were truly a miracle in your mouth.